Honestly this is where I work. I come in everyday and sit down on that chair, place my computer on my levitating lap-desk and plug into “The Net” as my parents like to call it. The biggest perk reveals itself every-time a client walks in for a meeting. The intimidation horrifies them and thus forces them to meet my every demand.

Behind that gray wall lies my main frame personal-super-computer [power level: 9000] that creates the games parallel with my subconscious. It’s all very next-gen. And if you have to ask what any of that means, then please navigate out of “The Net” to somewhere more meaningful lacking pretension.

1: tale , story
2 a: a chronological record of significant events (as affecting a nation or institution) often including an explanation of their causes b: a treatise presenting systematically related natural phenomena c: an account of a patient’s medical background d: an established record…

Merriam-webster

Ok. “But it’s about Nostradamus, hey that happened in the past. It’s cool. Don’t freak out.” I’m not, and it’s true. The prophecies of Nostradamus are historical, but truly this is much more about the “History” channel than it is about 2012. On the front page of their website there are a few historical shows you’d come to expect, but then: “Extreme Trains!” and “UFO Hunters”. A little deeper and up comes “Modern Marvels”. Yep, real historical History Channel.

Don’t get me wrong though, the History Channel rocks. It’s one of the better channels out there on cable, and can usually be trusted to deliver at least something of intellectual value any time of the day. I wouldn’t be as into it either if they’d strictly stuck to their stuffy Historical documentary docket, and if they did I’m sure they’d be having trouble catching up with the growing Discovery and TLC markets. But they’re hanging in there… you know. Being non-historical and all.

First off, the numbers are alarming. Even to those in the industry, but I Wii Play is a good game! The mini-games have a great amount of appeal. Ok, I’ll give you the fishing, the matching game, the bubble-position crap and I’ll even throw in the cow-race. Those aside, and mind you many of those games get picked up by plenty of people, have you played the shooting game? Air hockey, billiards? Ok fine, those aren’t 19.2-million-sold good. What does that leave… Hmm…

Wii Tanks!!!!

Yep. It’s an AWESOME game. In fact, I think it’d sell for $10 alone on Wii-Ware just fine. There are 100 levels. If that’s not enough, add in a level generator and a way to share levels online, or perhaps a 1on1 competitive multiplayer element and you may just have another flagship Nintendo game just in its own rite. It’s easy to forget, stuffed in with all the other mini-games with its slim cardboard sleeve CD-case, but it’s worth hours of entertainment just for the co-op Wii Tanks experience.

Notice that article references three major games that are all sequels… or quadrals? [MGS4, GoW2, Halo3]. Perhaps Nintendo has done something different and is being rewarded in a big way.

If you like it, i highly recommend watching it at home in full res. Kind of like how you would watch Eraserhead. If you’re into that kind of thing…

They plaster the walls with excessive amounts of HD televisions and Microsoft Surfaces so that our news feels more “hands-on”. On debate nights they had some loony type of metering system that made absolutely no sense as a piece of information design. They were simply two lines moving up and down along a time-line while the candidates spoke, but you can rest assured some expensive robots were calculating eons of political data in order to bring you “the latest”! As for the greenwashing movement itself, it was already obviously out of hand when we started seeing those ridiculous Exxon Mobile ads about earthquake energy. Of course they’re researching technology that’s not feasible yet while quietly disregarding technology available now. Like the electric car.

Phew, that was a lot of air-quoting. I apologize.