I remember when I started my first business…

I didn’t know much of anything about business or anything, but I guess I did it anyway. A lot can be said for reckless abandon, much of it negative, but I think it’s ultimately a good thing. Or maybe I just watched too much Dragonball Z when I was a kid… I’m still getting beat up though, and for that I’m stronger. However I think I’ve learned a fair bit of lessons on things to seek out and avoid when it comes to the starting part of the business world.

Per usual, I’ve extrapolated them out into a series of half-baked metaphors. Here are those things in numerated list form!

1. Would you get married to someone without knowing them first?

If you said yes, well then definitely don’t start a business. You’re probably in it for the romance of the thing and business [like marriage] isn’t romantic. If you’re like most people, and you prefer to acquire a fair understanding of the individual before signing binding documents committing what might be half of your total self to them, then take heed. Starting a business is not much different. Know your potential partner first. Work with them. For a long time.

It wasn’t until about a year after starting intuition that Mike and I had enough fights that we could be completely comfortable working with one another. It’s not enough to just know the person, or be friends with them. They may end up being totally different people to work with. Moreover, working with someone day-in and day-out on something you are both passionate about [a baby] brings up a lot of healthy, and sometimes unhealthy, conflict. Sometimes it’s too much, sometimes there aren’t fights at all and that’s the problem. Whatever it is depends on the people involved, it needs to come to the surface and that takes time and energy. Make sure to expend enough of both before you “elope.”

2. Are you a polygamist?

This is a bit of a misnomer, because getting into an equal business partnership with more than 1 person is worse than polygamy. At least in a traditional polyamorous relationship [Mormon-wise] there’s often some sort of male-dominant chauvinistic hierarchy. In an equally shared business partnership between more than two people you are basically amplifying the potential for disaster because there’s really no “order of operations.”

When we started intuition, we did this exact thing. 4 of us were excited about working together, finally finding competent and passionate people that could potentially get something off the ground. If we hadn’t done it, I know I would be worse off today. But if I were to do it all over again I wouldn’t have started a business per say, or at least one that would have a life outside of the project we were working on. I would have opted for a per-project type of organization that would provide for much less restriction. In fact, I’d argue we didn’t really need the operating agreement or any of that. Legalese replaces trust and we all trusted each other at least to the point that none of us would betray the other. We would have made Dinowaurs and have been done with it. That comes off as harsh at first glance and a little unnecessary, but it would have changed things immensely. With each of us armed with the knowledge that we would have to figure something out after Dinowaurs we would have approached the entire situation much differently.

3. How well do you know yourself?

This is probably the toughest one because it’s a catch-22. You’ve got to go through it first in order to investigate your own personality deep enough to be conscious of what’s important. Not explicitly though, maybe you’ve got a penchant for understanding these potential relationships, or you’ve been through a nasty divorce or two enough to know what the real hard work is. Nonetheless here’s the short list of stuff you should know.

• How you want to work.
• Who you want to work with.
• What kind of work you want to do.
• Where you want to be as a result of this endeavor.
• Why you are doing it. With 100% Honesty.

Each of these are tough questions, and not a single one should be breezed over until you’re as sure as you can be about the answer. Even then this doesn’t cover the gamut. The main takeaway: you should know what you want to do [the easiest part], why you want to do it [the hard part], how you want to do it [the harder part], and who you want to do it with [the hardest part]. Some of the difficulty varies wildly from person to person. Someone may know exactly what kind of people they work with but remain clueless on what they want their work to mean to them.

I’ve been in a few serious romantic relationships and even after those I’m still not sure what I’m looking for in another woman. People are a complex mess of behavior and emotion and getting two to live together on an exceptional level [happily] for an extended period of time [ever after] is an incredible unlikelihood [doesn't exist?]. Finding a business partner is not much different. Granted there’s not much fighting about the minutiae usually found in a stereotypical martial spat, the stakes are somewhat elevated because many times decisions relay directly into paying the bills and livelihood. Don’t take it lightly. Don’t be naive. You wouldn’t take marriage lightly would you? It will become your life. Choose wisely.

4. How well do you know your prospective partner(s)?

Ask them the same 5 questions above. Ask them in a serious and private setting and make sure everyone thinks long and hard about the answers. It’s not in anyone’s best interest to be anything but 100% honest.

We only recently did this, which prompted the splitting up of intuition into a collective. I like to think we’re all much happier for it, even if it was painful to do the actual splitting. It’s just more evidence that being honest and openly communicating with people is paramount when dealing with any kind of trust/partnership. For us, there was some branching on the questions of “Why are you doing it?” and “What kind of work do you want to do?”, which are not easy questions to answer for a lot of reasons. There’s a lot of gray area in these as well which can lead to temporary confusion. If someone in the partnership “doesn’t mind” doing a certain task, or taking a certain project while the other is thinking it’s the only thing they ever wanted to work on, that can lead to a relative disparity between the two. It might not be immediately evident and in a lot of ways this can lead to a worsened scenario due to how time tends to exacerbate the growing chasm. It’s the whole “rip off the band-aid” thing.

More to the point though, there’s a lot to be said for people doing exactly what they want to do. Partners, employees, wives and so forth. If someone in the team is working on something they’re not honestly passionate about, it’s a waste. This may seem blue-sky and all that, but with a small team [2-4 people] I don’t think it’s that lofty. Sure, at some point we all have to do things we don’t want to even when it’s a project we’re really passionate about, but that’s just reality. I’m talking about working on something that you think will “make you a buck”, “serve a market” or “get you cred” that’s outside of what actually interests you about the work. If it doesn’t serve your own interests, then why would it be interesting to anyone else? Be courageous. Dare to do it.

5. Do you really want to start a business?

Maybe you just want to work with someone on a project and split the profits 50/50. Maybe you just want to make something and can’t find enough people to do so. Sometimes “starting a business” gets people excited. Their eyes get larger and you both embark on this adventure into the unknown. I admit, it’s exciting. It still excites me. But know that if you really want to start a business, then go ahead and do it. You’ll learn a great deal, and maybe the next go-round you’ll get it right.