Well, the end of the world will probably be coming up here.

The LHC [Large Hadron Collider] is being fired up on the 12th of this month. But they aren’t colliding any particles until October 21st, so until then, just watch for a tiny black hole at the center of Earth. But that may take awhile to suck us up so we can probably rest easy until they spawn a supernova/big bang and destroy the universe instantly. Or maybe they will rip apart the fabric of space-time and parts of our consciousness will exist in different planes during fragmented points in history. Or we’ll just blows up. Whatever the case, I can say confidently, with no scientific evidence what-so-ever that it’s inevitable that we’ll all be dead before the Holiday shopping season.

And you know what the worst part is? It’ll probably happen so quickly, that my dear readers won’t have time to think, “Oh man, he was right!” Because that’s what it’s about. If the world ends, I at least want credit for being on the winning side. So just keep thinking about it, that I’m right. That’s important, so that your thoughts travel at the speed of light + 1 when the universe implodes on itself.

Here’s a link to a rap about the LHC, it’ll clear up any confusion you may have if this is the first you’ve heard of it. And it’s a rap, so you know it’s cool. And tomorrow when it goes live and they fire up all 14 miles of tubin’ you can check out the live webcast.

Happy Armageddon everyone! Too bad Bruce Willis and Aerosmith aren’t on the mission this time around, or we’d be safe and sound…